hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
