Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
