we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
