I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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