i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
