She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
