shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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