ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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