that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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