The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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