billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
