kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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