She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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