just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
