This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
