So drunk its hurt
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
