so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
