Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
