i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
