Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
