spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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