can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That was an excessively violent trivia night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
