You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
