Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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