Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
