So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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