Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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