my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
