I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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