Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
