honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
