i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just invented taco cereal.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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