No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
