My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
