Christians are straight up FREAKS
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My butt remains clenched, sir.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
