So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
