Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
