the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
