ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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