I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also, beer. Big fan.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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