i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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