And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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