If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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