Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
you never un-have a 4some
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
