as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
