i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
