Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
