I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
