I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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