I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He better not be in your backpack
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
