i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I am mentally ready for anal.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
