Having a random hookup so left but love u
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
