I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
