I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
